wawawa (*said dramaticly*)

=D i just LOVE the strength that the Lord can give us if we chose to take it. its literally unbelieveable! Jesus Christ my Lord and Savior has made this journey un-real. My co-workers are STUNNED that i dont smoke anymore, my family thinks that im stupid, and my classmates are just dumbstruck, this is so much fun to do this i wont ever smoke again. its good for me and its fun, what else could i ask more? lol. School has been more enjoyable as well, im not sitting on the edge of my seat just waiting for the bell to ring. and i dont have that nasty smoke smell (except the fact that my whole family smokes =D). i have found ALSO that my art abilities or my ablity to create has improved as well. this desicion has been one of the best ones ive ever made. im almost glad i started smoking in the first place! lol. (maybe?)

my Faith has even improved, i dont feel pulled down nearly as much and i feel like my walk with God has been so much easyer. i dont feel like i have to start off every prayer asking God for forgivness for my unhealthy habits. Better yet (honestly what could be better than that?) i feel closer to my mom in a werid way, because when i go outside to talk with her she knows its because im out there to talk with her not because i wanted a smoke also. its just amazing the ways God can work.

im not trying to say this has been easy, at all. in fact its hard but my faith and persavernce has made this a cake walk almost for me (contridicting much?). Like you know when you have to make a hard desicion, no matter what its a hard desicion right? but God is so alive and real for me that i can see right from wrong and i know how to decide for myself that "no i dont want to smoke" i have an "impulse" to smoke or to just light up once more but i have made the desicion not to because im doing so for God my Father, not myself.

ive taken up photography to swell up my time =D

God Bless!

so, i dont know =D

lol so i tried updateing from my phone, and as you can see it didnt work so well. lol. well GUESS WHAT! its almost been a month and i am super excited. its like im not even being tested. (should i say that? lol) i just keep remembering what Jesus went through for me, so why cant i go through this for Him? in all reality i shouldnt even be comparing these two, because what He went through for me is nothing compared to giving up smoking. lol. the strength that i have found through God for this is so unreal, i have had such a great time with this. im enjoying every step. AND! i have health problems, as you may or may not know, and its not good. i have very very very bad acid and when you see doctors they ask you questions, lol...one of them is do you smoke or have you ever? and i get to look the nurse in the eye and say no i dont smoke and yes i have i quit for a better cause than my own. its cool =D

back to the health stuff. back at christmas time i was taking like 15 different pills. 7 of those being heart medication and the others were sedatives and pain killers. i could barly walk and i had really bad spells were i couldnt see or anything. christmas morning went well. christmas afternoon...not so great. i had a really bad "heart attack" (thats what we throught they were) and we almost went to the emergency room. the weight on my chest went down and before i knew it i was starting to feel better. anyways...long story short. we find out after lots of tests and stuff that acid has been eating away at my esoph for a long time now. and...heart burn and mimic heart attacks =D

tada....im happy today =D work is still hard. everyone smokes but Karla and thats hard TRUST ME! my boss was actually STUNNED that i dont smoke anymore and she thinks the cause is completly stupid. but we are all entitled to our own oppinions.

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